Whenever I tell my co-workers I am going to go down to Baja they kind of give me this shocked look. If I talk about the subject long enough they will inevitably start questioning my duty to my family. I can’t really blame them, they are just trying to help. Afterall, Baja is a dangerous place. Everyone knows that Baja California is not a place for Americans to travel. Why else would the government put up that big tall fence with all that barbwire if “those” people weren’t so bad? A quick view of the news outlets or a google search will quickly prove the folly of going south of the border. Always remember, you may get robbed, get caught up in a drug war, or worse have you heard people have been drown in acid?!! Apparently people (like myself) have not been getting the message so I have decided to do a bit of public service and list my top reasons on why you should never go to down to Baja California.

1. It is dirty and dusty…

Yep, it sure is dirty and dusty in Mexico. I can’t even begin to tell you how bad the skyline can get in Baja California. One morning while we were there the clouds rolled in and I could not see out to Islas Mujeres. Can you believe it?! Oh and then when I was running along the beach in the morning I went for 4 miles and there was sand and dirt everywhere and the beach sweepers didn’t even do anything about it.

 

 

2. You might get assaulted…

They all told me it would happen. The lady on the phone was so bold as to actually give me the time and place as to where it would happen. Yep, they beat me up for about an hour, took my money, and then had the audacity to smile and told me to comeback so they could do it again. The nerve of them!

 

 

3. The food is horrible…

As soon as we got down there on Friday all these Mexicans kept on telling us to eat. We knew it must of been a plot so we walked around a bit to try and find out what was going on. Alas, it was to no avail because we were quickly ushered into one of these deceptive dining establishments. We should have known when everyone was smiling that they were up to a nefarious plot, and they were! Yep, the gave us spiny crustaceans!! It was hard to swallow it all down, but we didn’t know what they would’ve done if we didn’t finish it.

 

 

 

4. Those Mexicans are always blaring loud music…

Yep, it’s true. Wherever we went there were music. The trumpet guys were definitely the loudest. As if to brag about it some of them actually wore black suits with big hats and shiny buckles. When we were painstakingly eating our fried crustaceans the owner of the restaurant actually let a couple of them in. It was tough listening to them while we ate, but you know, we did our best and stuck it through.

 

 

 

5. The plumbing is horrible…

It was close, but Friday night we almost lost AJ to the bathtub. The kid was in there for like a half an hour. I think they were trying to bleach him, because when he did come out he was like 5 shades lighter. How he didn’t just wrinkle up into nothingness is beyond me.

 

 

 

6. Going to a foreign country can be so expensive…

Oh yeah, you know that’s right. You should have seen the money I was laying down for stuff 12 pesos for a taco and 35 for a cup of ice cream. 10  for a liter of juice. 65 for a folk dance show. I was throwing out such high numbers I nearly lost count.

 

 

 

 

7. The accommodations are horrible…

I guess this kind of goes along with everything being so dirty, but the buildings are all made of tile, and you know what tile is made out of right?! You got it, dirt!! Dirt on dirt, and they expect you to sleep in that. The nerve of those people.

 

 

 

 

8. There security is too restrictive / too lax…

I know they were watching me… They even had binoculars. I kept running along the beach but there they were watching me, and they wanted me to know they were there, they were in red. It was really weird too, I think I was about to discover something really nefarious. I saw this sign that said “peligro” and as soon as I got too close they told me I had to go. I am not sure what was over there, I guess I will never know.

 

 

 

9. You might get caught up in a protest…

I guess it was bound to happen. On Saturday morning the police started blocking the streets. It was hard to figure out what was going on. It seemed to be a really big street gang had taken over the streets. They all had the same green shirt with a soccer ball on it. There were a lot of big Mexican flags being waved and they were all shouting “Mexico gano el oro!” I wasn’t sure about everything else they were saying but I know that oro means gold. They kept saying they were going after the gold. Quickly realizing I had a gold wedding ring on I knew it was time to find a way back across the border.

 

 

 

10. The family doesn’t really want to go…

I don’t know how poor Denise gets roped into all my follies. Oh well, I guess that is just the dedication and patience she has for me.  Gotta love being married to such a patient wife.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyhow, you should know that we are back now. Safe and sound in the good US of A. It was rough but we did make it back into the land of safety. Now we might go back again one day, but we want you to know that you should not go. We only go down there as a kind of public service to other Americans so they will not have to suffer the pains that we do. Always remember if you go to Mexico something bad might happen. You might get robbed, you might get caught up in a drug war, or something else even worse!! You just never know…